Back doors and boobs: a bar story
By Laura McMullen, Staff Writer
February 18, 2008 | 11:06 p.m.
Writing an article exposing the horrors of underage drinking in Athens was harder than one might think. Staring at Court Street, I longed to see hordes of 18-year-old zombie drunks.
Like the scene from "Thriller," they would choreograph themselves and present to me a musical number about how much they love drinking and how, exactly, they go about breaking this silly 21-and-older law. Unfortunately, I saw no overzealous drunkards with gerry curls. Most of the students I saw were scared to talk to me or were way too sober. And then I offered to make them anonymous, and we slowly began to get somewhere.
I began by asking students how, if they were under 21, they went about drinking in the bars uptown. The responses were pretty typical. “It depends on if you know the bartender,” one guy said.
“Some friends of mine know the bartender who just doesn’t really give shit,” another added.
A couple students even mentioned that Red Brick Tavern is run by “band” people, thus our lovely 110 “gets the hook-up there.”
Upon hearing these cocky assertions, I couldn’t help imagining these scrawny boys as James Bonds, coolly exchanging a glance to their personal tuxedoed bartenders and scooping up amber colored drinks on the way to the pool table. Was it really that easy? I don’t know any bartenders, and of course none of them would admit to so freely passing out drinks to friends as if they were shots of Kool-aid. One of the boys in line even went on to say that underage drinking was an “under the table sort of thing.”
Clearly, students in Athens have connections with people in high places and could not wait for someone to ask about it. But what if one doesn’t have his own Sam Malone on the other side of the counter? Are the rest of us destined a pitiful night of just drinking in the dorms? Students had other tricks up their sleeves.
“We always just ask other people to go grab us a drink,” a group of girls giggled.
When I mentioned this notion to other people around town, they agreed that this was a good way to go. Of course a lot of guys mentioned that this works better for girls. “All a girl has to do is smile and shove her boobs in a guy’s face, and he’ll probably give her beer,” one student sneered
Stepping away from what horror this statement may reveal about some college girls and boys, there may be larger sociological elements at work. If some girls are willing to use their intellect, charm and boobs just to get a guy to buy them a drink, then this turns almost every 21-year-old guy into a sort of demi-god.
My night’s getting better. Athens is swarming with dashing James Bonds, barely clothed demi-gods and terribly charming and intellectual girls with really great boobs. This almost beats dancing zombies. But we’re missing something. Students snag beers with connections and cleavage, but how do they actually get in? The majority of bars on Court Street are 21 and up.
“You gotta go to the Crystal. We just sneak in the back door. No one cares,” a couple girls confided. I believed this back door talk to be a myth…until I heard more and more students agree that it is, in fact, that simple. Apparently these back doors are required to be left open for smokers and ventilation and what-have-you. Students take it upon themselves to slither in this way.
“Sometimes it’s hard, but if it’s really busy that night, the bartender doesn’t notice you come in. Or maybe he doesn’t care,” someone mentioned.
And obviously, nearly everyone mentioned fake IDs.
“All my friends have fakes,” one girl told me. “We all actually have two, so it’s not a big deal if they take one away.”
One gentleman explained to me that with today’s impressive technology, it has become cheaper and easier to make fake IDs. Another student told me that these IDs can range anywhere from 30 dollars to 130 dollars and that the best ones are made by friends of friends who actually work a state DMVs. I find myself becoming more and more impressed with the high rollers my fellow students bargain with for beer.
A couple girls also mentioned that they simply use other people’s old real IDs. I looked at a few of these IDs and surveyed that the sister or friend in the picture on the card rarely looked like the girl who was shoving the license in my face. I mentioned this to them, and they all laughed.
“It doesn’t have to be that close because it’s dark, and the guy hardly looks at it,” the girl reassured me.
Bartender networking, boobs, back doors and fakes: we are a resourceful bunch. While I’m still weirdly impressed at students’ will to drink, we should probably ask ourselves a few questions before we flash our fake to any inquiring journalist or 300 pound bouncer: if there wasn’t a law that said we had to be 21 to drink, would a lot of us be OK with just hanging out at home instead of sneaking through back doors of bars? Is it the glamour of drinking that begs us to pay one hundred bucks for a fake? Is there something about Athens’ small town atmosphere that makes it feel safe to stumble around so carelessly in the street?
Students around town seemed to know just about every way to get alcohol in Athens. Should we be surprised? According to these students, Athens is just waiting for illegal activity. Students come to college and want to drink because that’s the thing to do. We have a law that says they can’t—which creates a sexiness about drinking. Plus, we rarely see many dark corners, gunmen or coke-heads floating around the campus, so there’s a carefree air about town.
Athens welcomes drinking, and apparently it only takes determination and some creativity to get past the law that’s supposed to stop us.
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