'Master' no pirate's life
By Corinne Minard, Staff Writer
June 7, 2007 | 11:30 a.m.
“Pirate Master” is another tedious reality show with only some potential for greatness. Even those obsessed with pirates will find themselves wanting this silly show to walk the plank.
The setup is actually rather complicated for being a reality show. Sixteen “pirates” (because, God forbid, the mood is ruined and they’re referred to as contestants) sail around the Caribbean island of Dominica in search of treasure (a prize totaling $1 million). Of course, the pirates are doing so in style in a giant, 179-foot pirate ship.
Every week, a treasure hunt, which includes things of actual worth in the real world, occurs. The twist? Not everyone receives the money. Instead, the captain receives half the treasure and then divvies up the rest as he or she pleases. At the Pirate’s Court (this show’s version of Tribal Council), three members are blessed with the black spot. The remainder of the crew can decide to either vote one of these poor souls off or mutiny against the captain. At the end of the show, one person, whether they’re captain or not, will claim the final prize and the glorious title of “Pirate Master.”
This piece of useless television booty comes from Mark Burnett, the same man who brought the reality show phenomenon to the United States through the show "Survivor." Unlike “Survivor,” though, which focuses on the tense relationships between the contestants, “Master” spends an obscene amount of time showing the work that is being done. It doesn’t matter what kind of music is in the soundtrack, watching someone pull ropes is not interesting. And as stimulating as watching someone count coins is, there’s probably something better to watch on the CW. (Yes, that was an insult.)
The focus on tasks simply makes it difficult to find anything to say “Yo ho!” about. When the “pirates” go on treasure hunts, it only leaves the television viewer with the feeling that he or she is missing out on something. The hunts look like they’d be fun to do, but watching them is less than amusing.
The one thing that could distract the audience from the fact that they’re wasting their lives on the couch is barely focused on. This factor is of course the distrustful relationships formed with the other people. Fighting among contestants is the cornerstone of reality shows. The episode picked up when a captain was picked, but the show focused little on the envy of the other “pirates.” Really, some angry glowering would have made the show so much better than the gratuitous shots of people cleaning the ship.
Room for improvement does exist, though. The captain aspect could prove the catalyst of many arguments. The sabotage traps that exist on each hunt and are used to stop others are a delightfully evil twist. Money can also be used to bribe others, so the potential backstabbing could be glorious. All the necessary factors for a brainless, wonderful summer reality show are in place. If the editors start to focus on these instead, “Pirate Master” will be amazing.
Until then, “Pirate Master” will continue to be a substandard show with little to no excitement. For something that claims to have the thrills of the Seven Seas, the show is as much fun as trying to figure out the plots of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” sequels. The show needs to cut its ridiculous rules adrift and revel instead in chaos that could happen. That’s how a pirate’s life should be.
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Learn more about real pirates at Wikipedia.
Pirate Master Critic’s Rating: C-
Airs Thursdays at 8 p.m.
Plays on CBS (channel 13)
Reality show